ready, able: disclaimer

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The following serves to certify that ___________________________________, of free will and sound or ”soundish” mind, here forward referred to as Josephine and / or His / Her, is a citizen of the modern age with the entirety of human knowledge at beck and call for the “low, low” price of $89.99 per month of contracted “service” +/- 8.99% APR plus applicable taxes, fees, title, and license and therefore are under no obligation to retain or exercise an immediate recallable knowledge of anything Josephine can, will, have in the past, or won’t in the future, reference and heretofore holds no allegiance to any given fact, figure, or statement’s accuracy beyond useful and / or “entertaining” applications within Josephine’s own malleable internal construct and / or “imagination” as deemed necessary and / or “appropriate” by either Josephine or corporate guidelines, responding only as a spectator within Josephine’s own uniquely constructed knowledge-base and reality and will bear no responsibility for actions or statements made by Josephine, His / Her avatar, or His / Her title bearer within all applicable physical, virtual, psycho-social or psycho-sexual networks except when otherwise directed by local, state, federal, spiritual, or corporate guidelines excluding all prior “unwritten rules” implied under approved and / or “appropriate” social norms and / or “reasonable” expectations put forth by earlier versions of any “morally operating” governing organization whose primary mode of communication is or could in “reasonable” judgment be deemed a “dead” language by no fewer than two certified “experts” as accredited by an approved educational and / or governmental and / or “popularly” supported body and Josephine within “reason” agrees to all terms of service connected to, derived from, and / or deconstructed within the entirety of human knowledge, here forward referred to as IT, as communicated through all approved and / or unofficially supported paths of “disordered” communication and agrees to abide by, and enforce all, “necessary” retractions from IT, except if / when IT develops an “acceptable” and “appropriate” sentient state, and Josephine agrees to exercise a “restrained” and / or “conservative” state of activity in regards to developing “meaningful” relationship / s with IT as set forth by current and future organizational guidelines in regards to “meaningful and superfluous relationships” with IT, all direct and indirect products of IT, and external and / or internal creative property making implied and / or direct reference to IT and agrees that IT may be used for professional and / or personal purposes by a third party with or without “reasonably expected” notice and the existence and / or “spatial state” of IT may “reasonably” be questioned by Josephine, all corporate entities, and / or a third and / or fourth party upon contract expiration pending renewal of said contract in regard to IT and probable renegotiation of contractual obligations of IT.

—Jake Winiski

Jake Winiski is a visual artist and occasional writer living and working in upstate New York. He completed his MFA from the State University of New York at Albany in 2009 and currently works as an artist as well as in green manufacturing.

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